Friday, April 6, 2012

Using Communication in Healthy Relationships

Probably the most important part of a healthy relationship is to be able to talk and listen to each other. If you do not talk to each other then problems can creep in and spin out of control, you will not know what your partner wants and needs from the relationship, and most importantly if your partner needs your help or support then how will you know how to give it. When you talk every day, sharing each others lives, your hopes and dreams you draw closer to each other and become more intimate with each other. Communication in healthy relationships is vital to keeping them healthy because once you stop talking you start to lose your connection, and when the connection goes, so does your relationship.

Communication has such a major impact on our lives because virtually everything that we do whilst around others is communication of some form or another. Verbal communication is one that everyone understands, the one that most people tend to forget about is body language. Body language can be your facial expressions, are you rubbing your hands nervously, how does your voice sound. If you say something then it helps to mean what you say because your body language has an uncomfortable habit of reflecting what you actually think.

To get your wants and needs met you need to be able to communicate them, it is a pity that far to many people struggle with their communication skills. How many times have you come across people who seem incapable of getting their message across or are to shy to venture an opinion of their own. Then there are those who communicate in a negative fashion either through the desire to control or whatever game they are embarked upon. These individuals include the antagonistic, the dishonest and those wonderful people who lack the slightest interest in your needs or opinions. These styles of communication do not exist in a healthy relationship, if anything they stand for everything that a healthy relationship is not.

When you are in a healthy relationship, you have love, respect and friendship for your partner and as such you communicate in a positive fashion. You are clear on what you want and need (your partner does not have to be psychic in order to translate subtle hints), you are honest in your dealings and communicate in an open and friendly way. Unlike the negative styles of communication you listen to what your partner has to say and take the time to understand their needs and perspectives. Communication in a healthy relationship is not a one track path focused solely on you, it is about sharing who you are with your partner, and working together to build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.

One of the most difficult things that you have to do is listen, and listen objectively. Do not interrupt you partner when they are speaking, do not look to defend yourself from criticism because it could be justified, listen to everything and then, having heard all the facts you can reply. This can be difficult because your mind is automatically working out its response. Stay focused, it will be appreciated and you will be able to deal with the current situation far more intelligently.

Do not do anything to deliberately hurt your partner, sometimes we do things by accident but do not be malicious. Look to strengthen your partner by focusing on their positive characteristics, support them when needed and give praise where it is due. Whatever you do, do not make assumptions as to what you thin your partner means. If you do not understand something then ask questions until you do, do not just make a best guess and hope that you are right, that could cause more problems than it is worth, so show your partner that you want to know what is troubling them.

To really embrace communication in healthy relationships it is important that you are completely open with you partner. Do not try to be someone else, be yourself, after all that is who your partner fell in love with. Share what happens in your daily life, share your problems, share your emotions, share what is good and what is bad. Opening yourselves up like this deepens and strengthens your bond and makes your relationship pretty much able to deal with anything.

Communication in healthy relationships keeps your relationship strong and keeps you both connected. No matter how busy a life you both lead you have to take time to communicate with each other. This could be something as simple as a text to say you love them, you could discuss the meaning of life while you are washing the dishes, or you could talk about your hopes and dreams into the wee small hours. Communication should not be viewed as a chore, it is a chance to talk to your loved one, and as such should be regarded as a pleasure. Learn to enjoy each others company and fill your lives with experiences and memories. In the years reminisce with pleasure about what we have done, and talk about what you have still to do.

Being a student of life I thought it about time to get my ideas down in the hope that they will help people with whatever difficulties they are facing. If you want to read further help and guidance in dealing with relationship problems then my site might be able to help. Whatever your situation I wish you luck.

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