A healthy relationship comes from two healthy partners who are in a relationship with each other. A healthy partner handles life properly by having the following attitudes,
1. I have time to do everything I am supposed to do. If you have this attitude then you have searched yourself and decided what it is that is critical in your life and what is not. You know what your priorities are and what you can live without doing. This attitude allows you to say 'no' to those tasks that are not critical to your life plans/goals so that you don't feel overwhelmed by all the things that life and people sometimes thrust at you. This eliminates (or at least minimizes) feelings of being harassed or stressed; of being frazzled or exhausted or weary; feelings of being discouraged; and feelings of guilt for not doing more since there are so many good deeds or causes that one could be involved in.
This allows you to avoid being pushed, through the use of guilt, by well meaning people into activities that you have no passion or interest in. A healthy partner knows what they want to accomplish and they focus their time and energy into those things that further their objectives. Naturally if a relationship is not one of the life objectives of such a person then you will know it as they will put all their energy and focus on everything but the relationship; only self deception can keep you in such a one-sided love relationship.
1. I have time to do everything I am supposed to do. If you have this attitude then you have searched yourself and decided what it is that is critical in your life and what is not. You know what your priorities are and what you can live without doing. This attitude allows you to say 'no' to those tasks that are not critical to your life plans/goals so that you don't feel overwhelmed by all the things that life and people sometimes thrust at you. This eliminates (or at least minimizes) feelings of being harassed or stressed; of being frazzled or exhausted or weary; feelings of being discouraged; and feelings of guilt for not doing more since there are so many good deeds or causes that one could be involved in.
This allows you to avoid being pushed, through the use of guilt, by well meaning people into activities that you have no passion or interest in. A healthy partner knows what they want to accomplish and they focus their time and energy into those things that further their objectives. Naturally if a relationship is not one of the life objectives of such a person then you will know it as they will put all their energy and focus on everything but the relationship; only self deception can keep you in such a one-sided love relationship.
If however such a person has prioritized relationships then yours will be a healthy and balanced relationship as they will make time for you and they will spend their time and energy wisely in you and your relationship.
2. I cannot do it all! If you have this attitude you have realized that you cannot be perfect in every single role. You cannot be an ideal partner; a perfect parent; run a perfect house or business; be a model friend; prepare healthy and scrumptious meals every single day; run every project meticulously etc. This attitude frees you from constant exhaustion since you have given yourself permission not to be perfect. It's not that you are tardy; you just do your best and then you don't stress if it's not perfect. This frees up your time since you don't keep redoing things in a bid to make them perfect. A partner with this attitude is real with you, they do not pretend to be what they are not and you get exactly what you see.
3. I need to invest in my relationships. If you have this attitude then you will not take your partner for granted as you will realize that you cannot just keep receiving from your partner. You know that a healthy relationship, like a healthy bank account, requires you to make large deposit and smaller withdrawals in order to stay healthy. This attitude allows you to be creative in your relationship as you explore ways to invest in your relationship.
If you can make these three attitudes part of who you are then you will be a healthy partner who can be part of a healthy relationship.
However if you just don't know the relationship health status of your partner then I strongly recommend these relationship questions to help you ask all the relevant questions but if you want help identifying what is wrong and changing it then check out these relationship insights.
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